Dear Gaga, my hero,
Happy birthday! I hope you're having a great day despite everything we're current living.
This letter is a little piece of my trajectory with you, that now is over 10 years!
Back in 2008, I was 13 and I did not understand my sexuality, I have always hidden the fact I loved to play with my mother's dolls, to put towels on my head and pretend they were wigs... I did not know why I had to hide it all, but I just did it. Until I saw you. You were so shameless and brave, using giant high heels, crazy accessories on your face and head... Without realising, I was having you as my guiding light.
Your songs allowed me to keep going in the hardest days when I thought of doing terrible things to myself, and to have the braveness to finally have the talk with my parents in 2012. It was August, I was listening to Princess Die and the courage I had always wished for finally came to me: I told my parents I was gay. Luckily, they were supportive (my father sometimes used to say things that hurt me, but not anymore), and they saw it was okay for me as a man to like men. I was still their son, I was still studying hard. If it wasn't you, I don't know how long would I keep hiding this and just hurting myself.
Gaga, you are so important in my life that I even chose my career because of you. When you released the Alejandro music video (I was 14) I literally could not stop watching to it, more than 10 times a day for about a month (I remember my straight older brother complaining to my parents I had a mental disorder because all day long I was sat down in front of the computer just watching you). Seeing you performing with so many men loving themselves and using high heels just changed my life. I then payed close attention to the directing, the editing, the lighting, how the music was extended... And I started to make my own versions of this video, learning how to use an editing software etc. Today, I am a professional video editor because of that video. Because of you, I can make money and help my parents (my father is unemployed and my mom is a high school Portuguese teacher) and to be able to have an adult life.
One more fact I would like to share is the best night of my life: November 11th, 2012, your Born This Way Ball Tour date in São Paulo, Brazil. I made so many friends (I came 26 hours earlier to be able to join the Monster Pit), and we talked about our coming out, our sexualities, how our lives changed because of you... And when the concert started I could not believe that my hero was about 20 feet away from me. The concert were more than 2 hours long, and I still can recall almost every detail from it, you crying in happiness and saying you found happiness for the first time of your life here in Brazil...
You still are my guiding light. I learnt English to be able to understand what you said in the interviews, and to understand by myself the lyrics of your songs without having to check a translator. Now I can write you this letter! You inspired me in the best way: to be a great human being! And I am closer to that every day! Because of my efforts and your actions inspiring me, I was able to earn a scholarship in a university and study in Japan for a year because of the efforts you taught me to have.
Right now I am making songs and studying music production; I want to grow professionally, and you urge me everyday to do so, as you are always chasing a new path to pursue, and you show with your actions that we must keep going, and to not give up.
Thank you so much for being you! Don't worry, whatever you do we will be here to support you. Please stay home and stay safe. We are trying to do so as well. We will pass through this and will happily dance together here, in Chromatica, our home.
With great love,
Marcos Vinícius de Souza (Vinicius Bertozzi) - São Paulo, Brazil